No Second Wife Genuinely Loves Her Husband — Awesome Chidiebere
Actor Awesome Chidiebere has sparked debate over polygamy, arguing that women who enter relationships with married men may struggle to develop the same bond as a first wife.
Nollywood actor Awesome Chidiebere has stirred debate over polygamous relationships after arguing that a second wife or side chick cannot genuinely and sincerely love a man who is already committed to another woman. According to the actor, a woman who discovers that a man is married or already in a relationship is likely to reconsider her involvement because, in his view, women generally do not want to share the man they love.
He contended that whatever affection develops in such relationships may eventually become influenced by material or social considerations, including money, power, influence and other benefits associated with the man. Chidiebere argued that the first wife is more likely to share a deeper emotional bond with the husband because she was present before another woman entered the relationship and experienced the difficult stages of their life together.
He said the shared history between a couple, particularly the experience of overcoming hardship, can create an emotional connection that is difficult for a later partner to reproduce. The actor used the example of a divorced couple who, despite ending their marriage years earlier, continued to maintain a strong bond because of their shared history and children.
He explained that whenever the former couple met at family gatherings, they could still joke, laugh and interact warmly, even after their children had grown and they had become grandparents. For Chidiebere, such interactions demonstrate the lasting emotional ties that can develop between people who have spent years building a life together, raising children and enduring difficult periods.
He suggested that this may also explain why some men in polygamous marriages eventually seek emotional comfort from their first wives when they encounter difficulties. Beyond the emotional complications, Chidiebere warned men against entering polygamous marriages without considering the financial responsibilities involved.
He questioned how a man could comfortably provide for several wives and their children when the cost of raising even one child can place considerable pressure on a household. The actor also criticised what he described as male indiscipline, suggesting that some men pursue multiple relationships simply because they desire access to different women rather than because they are prepared for the responsibilities that come with expanding their families.
Using comparisons with different types of fruit, he suggested that some men want to have every option available to them, without adequately considering the consequences of their choices. His central argument was that pursuing another woman does not necessarily require marriage, particularly when the decision could create additional emotional, financial and family pressures.
Chidiebere’s comments have consequently raised broader questions about the emotional foundations of marriage, the complexities of polygamy and whether a relationship formed after an existing marriage can develop the same depth of attachment as one built over years of shared experiences. While his views reflect his personal assessment of relationships and polygamy, the claims also touch on a wider debate over whether love in marriage is determined primarily by when a relationship began or by the quality of the bond between the people involved.
By: Joyce Owusu
